Why Are ASD Kids More Susceptible to Bullying?

Autistic kids tend to be common victims of bullying. 

Nowadays, bullying has become a very popular word. Like never before, we’re putting our efforts on trying to comprehend the true effects that harassment by peers in an academic environment has on our children’s psychological and emotional development.  Scientific papers, movies, TV series and books have been produced on the issue and we’re still trying to find ways to increase tolerance and respect among students. In this regard, kids under the autism spectrum disorder are especially susceptible to bullying, but why so?

Autistic children are different from what society is used to. It’s just the way it is, at least for now. A study, conducted by Washington University in St. Louis, found that individuals with autism are 46% more likely to be bullied than normal children. According to another research, published by the Archives of Pediatric and Adolescent Medicine, kids with high-functioning autism who speak well are even three times more susceptible to be victims of bullying.

Since they often don’t understand social cues or they have trouble communicating effectively, autistic kids are usually awkward during social interactions. Bullies exploit these types of weaknesses to gain control over their victims. If they’re on the high-functioning side of the spectrum, they’re probably hanging out with neurotypical kids that are not quite aware of their differences. To them, autistic children might pass as just “weird”. Their actual disability is a lot less visible and harder for their peers to understand.

If parents don’t teach their kids how to react properly to people who are different from them, they can easily respond with hostility and intolerance towards their peers. Children on the autism spectrum also have difficulties at defending themselves from situations that can cause them harm, so it’s our job as parents and educators to learn how to detect these issues and address them as soon as possible to make sure no one gets hurt.

About 15% of autistic children were reported to be bullies as well (but this could have to do with their lack of understanding of social interactions). Either way, although unlikely, bullying might not always go just one way. It’s extremely important that we tackle these issues in our homes and schools, since constant bullying can lead to depression, behavioral problems, mental health problems, poor grades and even physical illnesses.

Even if your kids are not telling you they’re being bullied, there are some signs you can look out for to find out by yourself. Some of the symptoms your child may show:

• Have unexplained bruises, cuts and scratches.
• Come home with missing or damaged belongings or clothes.
• Come home hungry.
• Doesn’t want to go to school.
• Be frightened of walking or catching the bus to school.
• Start doing poorly at school.
• Have nightmares.
• Cry a lot.
• Get angrier and more aggressive than usual.
• Doesn’t want to talk about what’s wrong.
• Seems withdrawn.
• Feels anxious
• Starts bullying others.
• Says he or she feels sick.

After you’ve recognized some of these signs, talk to your child about it, ask direct questions or use creative tactics to get them to open up. Stay calm and don’t show negative emotions, as they’ll be more likely to withdraw themselves. Work with their school and let them know what’s happening, also ask them to take practical actions against bullying and work on a clear anti-bullying policy, if they don’t already have one. Do it as subtle as you can, because you could make the bullying worse if your child’s peers find out their parents got involved.

Let your child know you support them, come up with a plan for the next time to prevent bullying. Help them build their confidence and self-esteem by providing spaces in which they can be themselves and not fear of being judged or intimidated. Seek professional help if you must, therapists will know how to help your child open up about what’s bothering them and help them create mechanisms so they’re not emotionally affected by their circumstances. Never be afraid to take action!

Sources: Time magazine, Meraki Lane, Autism Speaks.

Jessica A. Yuncoza B.

Blogger Autism Soccer

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Peer Pressure: How to Teach your Children to be Themselves

Children often feel pressured by classmates or peers in general to do things they don't want to do.

Teaching children how to face the challenges in their lives is not an easy feat. In fact, one of the concerns for parents, when their kids are in school-age, is how to teach their small children to deal with the pressure that other’s can put on them to do certain things. Although it’s less than obvious, kids mostly look for ways to contact and feel a sense of belonging in their classrooms. Doing the same thing as the others can lead to friendship, but in some cases, the complying nature of children can make them prone to be victims of peer pressure.

This can happen for a variety of reasons when it comes to what we know as bad behavior: it can go from simply skipping a classroom activity, to bullying other children as a result of being pressured by others kids with the promise to be accepted in a group. As you can see, there is a wide range of situations in which a child might feel compelled to bend to the will of a group, whether by fear or simply to feel like he belongs to something. What can you do to help him avoid these situations? The reality is that you are not with your child 24/7, and there’s no realistic way of pulling him out of these situations if it's not by dropping the child out from the normal school system and homeschooling him. For some parents, this might sound like a viable, however radical way of helping your child cope with peer pressure, but there are some other ways in which you can help him stand out by himself and avoid being pressured into doing things he doesn’t want to do.

For example, the group of children that play with your child wants to do something bad, like bullying another child. What will your kid do in this situation? This is when the education you give him will kicks in. Some will jump right into the action without thinking twice about it, guided by the mentality of bending to peer pressure. However, an assertive child will recognize the mistake in the behavior, and will more likely react against it, whether by looking for ways to deter the others from doing harm, or getting an adult involved in the situation to prevent it from escalating from that.

Here are a few simple ways to avoid peer pressure that you can teach your child:

• Let him be assertive.
• Show him the importance of saying “NO”.
• Make him walk away from situations they don’t feel comfortable.
• Instill the feeling of responsibility and liability in their actions.
• Ask him to contact other adults if he sees something strange.
• Let him know that it’s ok to be selective with friendships.

Teach your child to stand out and defend himself, as this is going to help him understand the situation in other people’s shoes and he’ll be more than willing to defend and stand up against peer pressure. One way to make him connect with other children in different environments is Autism Soccer. The fact that this organization reunites children with different special needs, makes it the perfect place to share and relate with others outside of school, helping your child form a strong and assertive personality with the help of sports.

Letting children know how important it is for them to be unique and true to themselves.

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How to Handle Bullying to Prevent Children's Harassment

Bullying often happens in public settings, like schools. 

Children tend to play rough by giving each other monikers, or playing handheld games which are, sometimes, part of their normal behavior. But what happens when those names and ‘friendly jokes’ are more mean-spirited? In those situations, when a joke stops being equal and it turns into a humiliation, it’s called “bullying”.

While this is a mild concern for most parents, for the ones with children with special needs, this is one of the most constant worries. What if their child’s life drastically change because of that targeted attack? It is known that one of the most frequent causes for kid’s psychological problems and bad behavior are bullying or harassment they might be receiving from other children.   

What’s defined as “bullying”?

It’s defined as a targeted attack towards another person with an intention to harm, whether it is physical or psychological. In fact, ignoring a particular person is also recognized as a form of bullying. These behaviors can be shown by one or a group of kids and, most of the time, this happens without adults seeing it directly. Sometimes, children lead bullying to high levels and this might turn into targeted violence, which often leads to a long-lasting trauma for the ones who receive the attacks.  

How to handle bullying or harassment?

As parents and caretakers, your obligation is to teach your children that they can ask you for help if they are being attacked. While teachers and other students see what happens in real time, it’s your job to identify the signs of your child is being bullied. Some of those are:

• Personal items lost without explanation.
• Sleeping problems.
• Changes in personal habits.
• Decreased appetite.
• Loss of interest in personally enjoyable activities.
• Faking illness.
• Lesions (bruises and such).
• Diminished self-esteem.

How to help them face bullying?

Once you’ve been able to identify the problem, it’s time to take action. Parents need to give alternatives to their children that will help them feel safer and more trusting of each of their companions at school or other activities. For that reason, it’s important to get to the root of the problem by identifying the bully and knowing why they are acting that way. That’s why it’s vital to get the help from professors and psychologists. In fact, most of the time, when this happens, children that are expressing aggression towards others were harmed that way in the past, or they are reflecting behaviors from home.

What can you do to help them?

• Teach them they can count on you.
• Let them know it’s ok to seek help.
• Help them overcome the fear and show confidence.
• Teach them to stand up to bullies the right way.
• Involve bullies' parents.
• Get assistance from professionals (professors and psychopedagogy).

You, as a parent, need to prepare yourself to deal with children when it comes to their personal safety. Make sure to have the right skills to help them deal with bullying, and help them overcome those situations. One of the things that might help your children overcome that frustration and bad emotions is playing a sport. That’s why you need to contact Autism Soccer. They have a team of people who help children reach their full potential regardless of their condition and, also, they help them gain trust and confidence to face the world after that stressful period.

You, as a parent, need to be aware of the signs that indicate children's harassment to make it stop. 

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