Autism Soccer: Are You Reactive or Proactive in Your Parenting?

Parenting doesn't have to be a negative situation for any of you.

One day I was reading in a park and somehow I found myself watching a duality in parenting that baffled me. Right in front of me, two scenes unfolded after both parents bought their toddlers an ice-cone: a parent was dragging her child by the arm after the small girl got her t-shirt stained, while the other one was kneeling in and wiping their child’s t-shirt, that was stained too. It was amazing to see how two scenes that had the same origin could be so different. That alone made me wonder, what makes them different? With that in mind, I embarked on an investigative journey and I found out how those two persons differ and what exactly makes them different.

In parenting, there are two terms that are going to determine how you face the challenges that your child faces with you: reactive and proactive. These two terms can be present in the same person, but one of them will surely overpower the other and rule their behavior most of the time.

How’s a Reactive Parent?

The first kind of parent it’s the explosive kind, the one that will surely react like a lioness when their children are in danger, having that attitude all day long. Reactive parents are not always people that are in charge of the home, there can be a lack of stability and it often sets foot for a tense relationship between parent and child. This kind of parents rarely participate in an activity that doesn’t end up making them get their way. They are often labeled as passionate, and this behavior can be a deterrent for their child's interest, as they are overpowering most of the time.

How’s a Proactive Parent?

The second kind of parent is a more laid back kind, expressive but measured. While they are protective as every parent, their behavior is not dominated by their emotions. Thinking it through and allowing their child's room to express their own opinions is one of the things that they do incredibly well. This kind of parent is not only stable, but most of the time, their child will feel connected and safe enough to express themselves and letting their personality show. They take a more hands-on, practical approach to the lives of their child. Solutions are found without exploding, thus enabling their child to see a more laid back behavior when it comes to trouble.

What kind of parent are you? For both of them, there are many options when it comes to taking the approach to the life of their children. Passionate behavior while not entirely frowned upon, can generate an uncertain environment for the children.