Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Things that Every Parent with a Special Child Needs to Remember

Most of the time, you can find a community that will help and support your whole family. 

Children are incredibly important for their parents, especially when they have special needs. It means trips to the doctor, making friends with the pediatrician, and being more than a parent to their kid, being their advocate in the world and their main source of comfort and calm. That can be an incredibly complicated pair of shoes to fill, but it’s all worth it for the child’s happiness and quality of life. But usually, this means they can get lost in their job as parents and lose themselves in the way, and this can be incredibly frustrating. However, even when it seems like the world is going to end, there are a few things you need to remember.

You are somebody’s hero
Your child is always looking out at you, and you need to remember that. More than their primary caretaker, you are their connection to the world, and they are grateful for it, even when it doesn’t seem that way. In the list of superheroes, you are closest to Superman or Wonder Woman for them, because even if you can’t fly or vaporize people with your eyes, you are the one they look for when their world is topsy-turvy.  

You have your own identity
Parents of children with special needs often get their identity defined by the fact that they are caretakers, and get their identity lost in those terms: Being legal guardian and responsible for their medications, doctor’s appointments, and many other things. But you are much more than that, and your essence needs to be preserved for you to live a happy life with your child. Yes, it’s great to mature and grow, but it’s important that you stick to your beliefs and incorporate them into your new life.

Trust yourself
Being a parent is challenging, but when a child depends solely on you and you have to make tough choices, sometimes your personal beliefs are shaken. These can be medical, personal or professional choices, and they can take a toll on your self-esteem and security. All you have to know is you are the only one with the context to make these choices, and while you can ask for advice or support, no one but you has the last word. Trust your instincts and know that regardless of the outcome, you did what you thought was best for your kid.

Be your child’s best advocate
Sometimes, people don’t get right away your child is different, and that’s what makes them unique to you. Their disability doesn’t have to define them, but it will shape how they react to the outside world, and you need to be prepared to teach people about it. Sometimes it’s okay for you to be blindsided by certain questions, or to be tired of the fact that you have to explain over and over again what makes them special. However, don’t let this stop you from presenting them in the best light, and always inform people that are just meeting your child about them needs and disabilities.

Enjoy your kid
Medical bills, appointments, and treatments can work as a vacuum for fun, but I can assure you it doesn’t have to be that way all the time. Enjoy the precious moments your child has to enjoy, laugh with them, and let them know you love them. Regardless of their particular need, they are children and need love and support that only a parent can offer them. Teach them things and be with them in every step of the way. Let them know they are unique and special to you beyond measure, regardless of their condition.

You are not alone
If there is something parents of kids with special needs have is a support system with other parents that are going through the same situation. Inform them of your needs, and talk to them about challenging situations, give helpful advice or just lend a much-needed ear or hug to show your support. Family members and friends are also there for you, and will gladly help you through the process of raising your child.  This means that regardless of what you might feel at a certain point, you are never alone.

These are the things you need to remember every day as you raise your child. I can assure you that you’ll have plenty of alternatives to enjoy life with them without having to think about their disabilities. If you want them to practice a sport that will make them feel confident and free, contact Autism Soccer. They offer classes with supportive and understanding professors who will make your child feel unique.
Some parents with special needs children forget that they belong to a community.



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