Divorce: How Are Children with Autism Affected?

It can cause two different reactions in couples. A bulletproof union, or separation and even divorce.

The arrival of a child with any type of unexpected condition, can cause two different reactions in couples. Union proof of everything, or separation and even divorce.

Couples can join more than ever and strengthen themselves in the challenge, assuming together the natural feelings that this situation implies.Or otherwise, couples can divorce as a result of the high stress that this experience brings to their lives, and that accentuates the differences that already existed.

A son is never the reason for divorce, but sometimes the experience becomes the trigger that puts an end to the relationship. Divorce rates are high, especially in those who have received a child with special needs.

How divorce affects children with Autism?

For every child it is a painful experience, but in the case of children with developmental challenges it can be even more difficult to process the emotional difficulty involved in understanding that one of the parents has left the house.

Even typical children have difficulty expressing their feelings in this situation, so it is to be expected that children with disabilities will face even more challenges because of their inability to ask questions, or express what they are feeling. By not developing the typical reasoning can live this separation as a constant loss, which causes stress problems and behavioral changes that are seen in the behavior, and are reflected at the time of sleep, school performance, or meals .

How to make this process more easy?

Sometimes the words are not enough to explain the situation. This is a moment where the reinforcement of communication becomes more important than ever, and it helps them to recover their security through techniques that will make them visually identify what is happening, showing them that they have not lost the absent father.

-Helping them to have independence to feel that they can communicate with their father at any time is also important. Programming your phone with a key dial to make a call when you like on your own initiative, is an excellent idea that gives you the freedom to feel close and connected.

-Regardless of differences as a couple, parents have to do their best to share together the special days when children need a family model, birthdays and special occasions. Both are equally valuable to the child, and in the hands of the absent parent is not to lose this gift.

-Divorce should not be the beginning of a war, but the beginning of a agreement in which both parents commit themselves to do their best for the good of the children. Something that we must never forget is that our main task is to make our children happy. We can think that a marriage was a failure or a bad decision, but a child never is, and it will always be the gift that gave us love and that we must respect forever.

Divorce shouldn't be the beginning of a long-term war, but the beginning of a peaceful agreement in which both parents commit themselves to do their best for the good of the children.

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Minecraft y autismo, ¡construye tu mundo ideal!

Construye tu mundo en Minecraft.

Las estrategias educativas representan un mundo de posibilidades que deben ser manejadas con cuidado, pero que no por eso resultan limitantes. Son muchos los medios y los métodos a través de los cuales se puede impartir la educación, cada uno adecuado a las necesidades individuales de cada niño. Curiosamente, los métodos de educación cada vez son más osados, dinámicos y particulares.

Pero, ¿pueden ser aplicados en niños con autismo? ¡La respuesta es sí! Incluso los métodos menos convencionales, como los videojuegos, pueden ser una estrategia aplicable a los niños con autismo.

Minecraft, el videojuego capaz de cultivar habilidades sociales en los niños

En los últimos meses se ha abierto una posibilidad en cuanto a las terapias para el autismo, y es que aparentemente videojuegos como el Minecraft son capaces de estimular en los niños las habilidades sociales que requieren para interactuar de manera más fluida con su entorno. Esto fue justamente lo que la Asociación de Desarrollo del Autismo de Albacete detectó, y por lo que decidió dedicar estudios a esta estrategia.

En el juego de Minecraft los niños deben interactuar con otras personas pertenecientes a la comunidad virtual, además de construir ciudades enteras. En este sentido, el juego ha sido empleado por educadores en distintas áreas de conocimiento; desde religión hasta historia universal, ¿habías pensado en la posibilidad de construir el Partenón en un juego?

Gracias a las posibilidades que ofrece el juego, los niños pueden sentirse parte de una auténtica comunidad capaz de crecer al ritmo que ellos requieran, sin presiones y con mucha diversión. ¡La oportunidad perfecta para que puedan forjar su propio mundo ideal!

Autcraft, ¡más que un juego de palabras!

En vista de los buenos resultados que dejó el uso de Minecraft como una estrategia de aprendizaje, y su propuesta de ser un medio útil para ayudar a los niños con autismo, los creadores del juego decidieron habilitar un servidor específicamente diseñado para niños con autismo: Autcraft.

Dentro de Autcraft los fundamentos del juego no tienen gran cambio, ni la animación del mismo. El verdadero cambio es evidente en las normas de convivencia y las reglas del juego. Algunas actividades permitidas en Minecraft, no son permitidas en Autcraft. Por ejemplo: el bullying, maltratar personajes, robar objetos o utilizar un lenguaje inadecuado.

Para que todo esto se cumpla, existen personas encargadas de monitorear constantemente los mandos del juego y las acciones realizadas, para cuidar la integridad de cada uno de los niños (y los padres) que deciden confiar en el poder de los pixels para un mejor desarrollo social. ¡Atrévete a experimentar con este juego!

En Autism Soccer buscamos cuidadosamente la información más útil para ofrecerte en beneficio del desarrollo de tu hijo. Estamos comprometidos con la formación de nuestros niños, por eso, te invitamos a seguirnos en nuestras redes sociales. ¡Aprendamos juntos sobre el autismo!

Utiliza Minecraft para incentivar la imaginación.

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Living With Autism: A Party Survival Guide

But this doesn't mean you have to stop attending to parties, just figure out what's best for you.

Children’s parties and social gatherings can be a great opportunity for our children to practise and develop their social skills in a supportive environment. But children living with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) can find parties and social gatherings difficult at the very least.

Parties often imply playing games, taking turns, listening to instructions, and by definition being with other people. All of this can be hard for children with ASD, who have some trouble with communication and social interaction. On top of this, many party games and activities require skills that are hard for children with ASD to master, like organising, waiting or infering what comes next.

A particular group children with ASD are easily overwhelmed by their surroundings. They might find it hard to deal with the noise of other children laughing and shouting, the loud music or people singing ‘Happy birthday’ all together. All these stimuli can be from stressing to frightening, and we didn’t even talk about clowns.

But at the end of the day, socialising and going to parties can help children with ASD to practise communication and social skills, that’s why is so important to keep them included and incite them to participate. But the social world can be complicated and confusing for a child with ASD. Planning ahead and helping your child build social skills is the way to go.

ASD Children and Parties: Can they Coexist?

Yes, they can. For a start, there’s no pressure at all to take your child with autism spectrum disorder to a birthday party. Just do what feels more manageable for you as a parent, because if you are comfortable and feel at ease, so will your kid. But if both you and your child want to go, some planning can help you feel more confident and your child feel better prepared for the event ahead.

A Story (remember, visual aids for these kind of lessons) about the party could be a good first step. You could focus the story on something specific like how to take turns, or how to behave when someone else wins a game. You could also ask the party hosts what they’re planning, and use a visual schedule to show your child what’s going to happen when.

Role-plays are another good way to educate your child for a party. For example, you and your child could role-play some of the things that will happen at the party like arriving, saying hello or taking turns with other children.

Video-modelling (again, a useful visual aid) can also work wonders. You can buy ready-made videos to help your child learning social skills, like how to behave properly at a birthday party. Making your own videos is also a great option because it would have the familiar factor.

Planning to go to the party and stay only for the parts your child can manage can be a practical idea. You could also plan for you and your partner, or another trusted adult, to take turns supervising the child. An escape plan, if you will, for if your child feels overwhelmed might help too. For example, plan to take your child out for a strollor to sit in a quiet room.

A sort of emergency kit, packed with your child’s favourite toys, books or snacks might soothe things down if needed.

You can help your ASD child build skills for taking turns, sharing with others, joining in and self-soothing. These skills are useful for parties and other social events, but they’re also very useful in the playground and classroom or when your child is with friends.

For example, you might know that your child gets distressed when he loses a game. So you could work on losing with grace and in calm. You could build up skills in this area by:

• Telling a Story that shows that it’s OK to lose sometimes.
• Practising losing at games of chance like ‘snap’ or ‘snakes and ladders’, with are nothing but fair and equal to all.
• Teaching your child to say, ‘Congratulations, you won’
• Using a reward of 10 minutes of a favourite activity of his/hers each time your child uses his script and loses in a calm fashion. You might need to provide the reward at birthday parties to start with.

As you have read, here at Autism Soccer we care about all aspects regarding the life of our Readers. Follow us on our social networks and don’t hesitate to leave your comments in the section below.

We all can have fun, some in a different way than others.

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Siblings and Children with Disabilities: How To Keep Balance at Home

Raising kids with disabilities can be a challenge. Learn how to overcome every difficulty that comes your way!

When there’s a child with special needs in the family, he or she quickly becomes the daily protagonist of their parents’ routine. It’s not hard to imagine why, children with disabilities often tend to take a lot of our time, efforts and thoughts. We always want to give them the best life possible. Their condition will always affect every member of the family differently and one of the individuals most vulnerable, and often neglected by scientific research, are siblings.

As parents, we’ll always want to give equal attention to all of our children, but when one of them depends so much on us, it easily becomes very hard to keep balance. Most of us probably didn’t grow up with siblings that needed special cares, so it can be hard to understand what they’re truly going through. How do they feel about their sibling’s situation? How do they see themselves related to the family? And what kind of responsibilities are put on their shoulders? It’s incredibly important for us to help them have a healthy childhood along with their siblings. It’s up to us to strengthen their bond and cultivate values that will endure for an entire lifetime.

Understand their need for attention

From a very early age, typically developed children will notice the amount of attention we’re paying to the sibling with disabilities. We know it’s hard, but you need to try to spend some quality time alone with them. Play with them, let them help you in the kitchen or simply have a conversation with them. Let them know that it’s perfectly fine to express their feelings. They’ll get jealous and frustrated (especially when they’re too young to understand), so don’t make them feel guilty for emotions that are perfectly normal for their age.

Explain to them why their sibling is different, with simple words. Don’t use euphemisms. Make yourself as clear as you can; you don’t want them to think that their sibling’s condition could be contagious or that it could be simply cured as if it were a broken arm or a scratch. Remind them that fair is not always equal, so even if you can’t spend as much time with them as they wanted, it’s not because you’re being unfair to them. Delegating the work between the father and the mother can be useful, but make sure that you’re also spending time with each one of your kids. They need both of you, not the one who got the role of taking care of them.

Take their feelings seriously

In contrast to their sibling’s special needs, a typically developed child’s problems can seem pretty meaningless. Many kids with siblings with disabilities feel like their issues are not important, so they end up repressing many emotions. They simply don’t want to be a burden. We might even be grateful for their consideration, but the reality is that it could affect their emotional development.

Their goals, dreams, and frustrations are valid. Be sure to let them know that. They can be angry at their siblings, and they can be sad for their situation. Let them express and say what they have in their minds and hearts. Sometimes, they’ll also feel like they have to be perfect for you because they’re the kid who “got lucky,” the one who shouldn’t complain, the one who shouldn’t give their parents any problems, they know they already have many as it is. But they’re just kids. Remind them that you’re not expecting anything extraordinary out of them, you just want them to be their own person and find happiness.

Be careful of the burden on their shoulders

Siblings will often feel like it’s they must look after their sibling with disabilities, and while you can always ask for help, you shouldn’t make them feel like it’s an obligation to do so. They’re probably too young to take care of another person, and it could easily end up being too much of a responsibility for their age.

Even when they’re already teens, they still need to go out and have their own life. Make sure you’re letting them make their own decisions in this regard. Having grown up with a sibling with special needs, they’ll probably have a higher sense of responsibility and empathy, which is really good. But they’ll also feel like they had to grow up faster than everyone else. Perhaps there’s nothing we can do to avoid that, the reality is something we can’t just escape, but we can help them see that they can have fun and that they’re allowed to be tired or say no.

Help them face society and don’t let them get resentful

Let’s face it. Society is hard for those who are different. Children with disabilities will quickly learn this, but so will their siblings. Socializing can get hard when they have to explain that their family is “different,” and they can easily be the target of bullying or mockery. They’ll also find out that their siblings won’t be able to do many of the things they can, not because of the lack of ability, but because the world hasn’t thought about making those activities available for them.

It’s easy to get resentful or even skeptic about the world once they’ve faced how cruel or indifferent people can be. Talk to them about these issues and create situations in which they can prepare an answer beforehand if they ever hear other children making mean comments about their sibling.

Ultimately, communication is the key. Children don’t know that there’s a reason why we’re not paying enough attention to them. If they act as babysitters their entire lives, it will inevitably have an impact on who they are as individuals. Be there for them, it’ll be hard many times, but all they need to know is that they’re not alone and that they’ll always find in you someone they can speak their minds to. Step by step, the road will become easier over time.

Source: Not typical, Rachel Feichter. Kid’s Health.

Love will always be the answer.

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Siblings and Autism: How to Interact with the Whole Autism Spectrum

You, as a brother or sister, need to be part of your sibling's life!

Ever since the extensive researches on autism began in the 20th century, the main focus for most clinicians was to look for a way to improve the quality of life of those who were born with it. Several awareness campaigns also rose up: Bringing the attention of people on autistic children. The knowledge we have today stands as a reliable and powerful tool to understand autism. With so many improvements the change can be felt, but what really matters, in the end, is how autistic children are raised and taught. Families are, in fact, the key to this puzzle.

Values, such as love, solidarity, moral and empathy, are pillars when raising children. Education is important too, of course. But without awareness and proper parenting to back it up, it won’t mean much really. Families are the children’s growth nucleus. Through solid bonds between siblings and the counseling of adults, children can develop the essential skills they’ll ever need in life.

For autistic children, it’s no different, even with their own challenges and particularities. What do autistic children need compared to neurotypicals? Time, more than anything. They don’t see the world differently as many people claim, they just see it with different eyes. What can you give your child as a parent to help them in their growth? You should be starting by changing your perception and that of the people around your kid.

Autistic children don’t feel different because of their condition: they feel different when people label them as such, even though they know they are not doing anything wrong. This attitude towards them is rooted on misconceptions around autism, mistakes that were put into people’s minds which managed to perdure. My point is that the moment you act differently towards autistic children they’ll show a tangible change in their lives.

Siblings are no different from the rest of the people, which is why you must educate them as well. Children need to be taught to treat and understand autistic children, in a way they don’t make them feel they’re being treated differently. You must explain them openly what it means to be autistic, so they can learn to treat them equally. This is not about denial or ignoring your children is autistic but acknowledge and empathize with what it really means to live with this condition.

A family that’s well educated about this will surely make their autistic children (or any children, for that matter) feel at home. Also, it would be wise to remember that if you decided to take this path, it’s neither a sacrifice or a challenge for you to bear. Playing the victim is not what your children need, they need to be understood and loved among all.

Your house and environment need to be ideal for your children to grow, but this doesn’t mean you’ll have them in limited and protected places out of fear. They need to see and experience the world as well. Autism Soccer provides the right environment for your children to learn and become an important piece of society (because they are). They deserve the best, and they will have it!

People with autism require special care from family and professionals, as they need to be taught how to connect with others, included their family.

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How to Inspire Respect Between Siblings

Children, especially when they have a considerable age gap, are prone to bickering.

Sibling rivalry is one of the things that worries most parents. The fact that children in a household fight and bicker is not uncommon, but when this animosity takes a turn for the physical violence, it’s time for parents to intervene. They need to cement values that will help their child gain respect for the other sibling, creating a connection unlike any other on the planet. This connection helps them reach a more confident relationship with friends and stranger alike, as it helps them create a personality that’s cemented in respect and love. The fact that parents know how to handle the process in a more productive and interesting way for children makes for a great experience in their childhood. This is especially true for households where one of the children have a special condition.

Respect between siblings is not an easy feat to reach. It requires a lot of work from parents, brothers and sisters alike to reach the goals of collaboration and security that only a sibling can give. That’s why you need to take the role of leader in your household, helping them reach their ultimate objective and become a union. For that, you need to follow certain rules:

• Be Fair: While sometimes we have more connection or preference for the attitude of a child, as a parent we must be fair at all times. Enforce the measures that fit the mold of each child and let them know how important it is for them to know the difference between the treatment each of them receives according to their age and particular needs.

• Participate equally: You need to participate with each child in activities that are fulfilling for each of them. Playing sports or learning an instrument, make sure that these are things that your child enjoys and that they can interact with others through them.

• Define limits: If you don’t set limits to your child, they’ll not understand each other limitations and abilities. Define places to play and what to do and what not to. That way they’ll have a more structured setting to experience with each other.

• Avoid being referee: Children will fight with each other. You as a parent need to make sure that they don’t harm each other, but have in mind that you don’t have to meddle into their fights. Let them solve their problems on their own, instead of trying to fix it all. This teaches them problem-solving and helps them establish a working relationship between each other.  

Inspiring children to respect each other is ideal not only in the household but also for other activities that they are going to face together in their future. It’s important for you to know the importance of these experiences, and that you are able to enforce them into every single aspect of their lives. One of the moments where your children can be participative in their sibling’s experience is Autism Soccer. They offer alternatives to practice sports for children with special needs, taking into consideration their family and background to create the perfect setting for each of them.

Having a road trip or activity together helps them create lasting bonds. 

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