The Correct Behavior that Parents of Children With Autism Should Have

Often, parents are the only ones subjected to behavior modification processes, which are provided by children, whether they have autism or not.

The children modify their parents’ behavior, and not the other way around, as is usually thought. Yes, as you read. It often happens that parents are the only ones subjected to behavior modification processes, which are provided by children, whether they have autism or not.

In this article, we explain everything about it. Keep on reading!

Autism and parents: behavior

Not everyone has the knowledge, the disposition, the time, the patience, or all the skills that are necessary for the learning process of a child with autism. And if nobody explains anything to you, nobody advises you, and no one guides you, there are many chances that you’ll be making several mistakes.

In many cases, the children have perfect control of their house. They do what they want, get away with it, and they can do things that other children are not allowed to. The main reason for this is the autism. We can’t forget that the children with autism are, above all, children; therefore, they will do the things that children usually do.

The misbehaviors of the children with autism are encouraged, or awarded, or allowed, or excused since the child has autism. The result: the child has no limits, no discipline, and learns to get what he wants, when he wants, and in an inappropriate way.

How to prevent our son from modifying our behavior?

We must be very clear about what behaviors we want to eliminate, and to what point we have encouraged them. This is something to consider: we could be the ones encouraging these behaviors, without realizing it.

• Don't give in to requests out of place.
• Don’t turn the child into the center of attention.
• Ensure that the child understands what you want him to do.
• Be tenacious and coherent. Nothing is worse than not allowing something today but accepting it tomorrow.
• Teamwork and constant communication with the therapist or school. Establish the same guidelines and limits in all contexts of the child's life.

It’s important to avoid being managed by the children, this will lead us to very complex situations. Controlling the behavior of children with ASD is not easy, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible; having professionals who support and advise us is always a great help. But don’t forget that a teacher or therapist only spends a couple hours with our child, while we parents are with them all the time; we must strive to educate and establish a good relationship with them. This will result in a good quality of life in the family.

There are many techniques to handle these situations, but we must keep in mind that each child is a world, so a little creativity and analysis will come in hand to manage their character and help them to have good behavior.

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Autism: Social Disability?

From the point of view of the acceptance of the majority group, the person with autism or Asperger is bordered, it is not understood that it should be accepted in the group, given its difficulty for this interaction.

Every day more people refer to autism spectrum disorders (ASD) as social disabilities, and it indeed has a lot of social components. We are not talking about a matter of physical health, but about a social health one. One of the most significant problems that the person with ASD faces is the social exclusion at all levels, which in many cases also affects the family.

This exclusion generates a series of problems. The society in which the person with ASD must develop is usually not prepared for the social inclusion of such a “novel” concept of diversity.

Is autism a social disability?

Initially, the term “social disability” was attributed to people who were at risk of social exclusion because of poverty or race. In the case of people with autism, it’s the difficulty to establish channels of social interaction according to the accepted cultural norm of the environment in which the person lives.

The person with autism is ruled, it’s not understood that it should be accepted in the group, because of its difficulty for this interaction. The social group is simply inaccessible to those who present a minimum degree of difficulty. Therefore, the “disability” of the person isn’t something attributable to it, but rather a social imposition.

This social exclusion can affect not only the person with ASD but also their family members. Most people with ASD don’t have problems of mobility or health, but they do have deficiencies in the communication aspects of social management. Gaps that can be improved if the person has access to the media and to society, which generates an interaction that could help them integrate with their peers.

Although there’s much talk about inclusive education, the reality is that it doesn’t exist. It’s not the education the one that should be inclusive, but the society. Technicians, specialists, relatives, and affected people see with despair how the future of these people is obscured by the lack of consideration and inclusion.

Autism spectrum disorders aren’t known, they aren’t understood; thus they aren’t contemplated. This situation entails the elimination of the identity of the person with ASD.

More inclusion, less rejection!

Autism itself can't define a person, the use of the attribute as a social conditioner entails the impulse of exclusion, and of the social rarity.

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Educational Strategies for Children with Autism

Some types of ASD involve a certain degree of intellectual deficiency. On the other hand, it's usual for those affected by the Asperger's syndrome to have an IQ higher than the average.

Autism is a disorder of a biological origin and a genetic component that qualitatively affects various psychological functions such as social interaction, verbal and nonverbal communication, symbolization and imagination, rigid, inflexible and stereotyped modes of behavior, and restricted and obsessive interests.

Some types of ASD involve a certain level of intellectual deficiency; meanwhile, on the other hand, it’s usual for those affected by the type of autism known as Asperger's syndrome to have an IQ higher than the average.

Autism and education

Establishing an educational strategy for students diagnosed with ASD is difficult because of the existence of differences in the level of intelligence, capacity, and potential of the children. The most advisable one, said by experts, is that the children carry out their education in an ordinary classroom.

Boys and girls with autism are part of the group of students with special educational needs and will always present problems in some specific areas, whether it's in a greater or lesser level.

Problems of social interaction

• Isolation and lack of social and affective contact with people.
• Category of empathy and inability to express their own feelings.
• Alterations of behavior, repetitive or disruptive behavior.
• Cognitive disorders.
• Deficit in communication and language (verbal and non-verbal).
• Motor problems, with great variations between one case and another. Movement and coordination issues are observed.

These problems require specific educational needs in which the main objective is to alleviate, strengthen, and improve as far as possible the alterations in the cognitive, intellectual, and social level of these students.

The general objectives of educational strategies in autistic children should have the following goals:

• Power the autonomy and personal independence of the child.
• Develop self-control of their behavior and their adaptation to the environment.
• Improve the social skills of students, promoting their ability to develop in the environment and understanding and monitoring of norms, keys, and social and emotional conventions.
• Develop functional, spontaneous, and generalized communication strategies.
• To promote communicative intention and reciprocity in communication.
• Develop basic cognitive processes.

The activities focused on autistic children in each of the strategies must be very functional, organized, and structured. Clear and simple.

For the activities, visual supports like drawings, photos, and posters are very useful in autistic children as not only a reminder but also a motivational reinforcement of daily actions and tasks.

The experts consider that the most beneficial thing for these children, except for the most severe cases, is that they carry out their education in the ordinary classroom.

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Autism: The Difference of Being and Having

Autism doesn't define the person. You are not autistic, you are a person, and you have autism.

Nowadays it is very usual to refer to people who have autism as autistic. "My son is autistic," "he is autistic," and it is curious how "having" has been replaced by "being." Autism does not define the person; you are not autistic, you have autism, and you are a person. However, it seems normal to define a person as autistic, in addition to pigeonhole in a behavior that has little to do with the reality of autism.

Autism doesn't define the person

We must begin to banish that stigma; people are not autistic, they have autism. We already put things too difficult for people who are in the Autism Spectrum Disorder to also mark them as something weird with a word.

Society has a great ignorance, which leads us to be conditioned by absurd messages. Autism is something much more complex, affects one in every 175 children, causes terror in the parents of children diagnosed precisely by that way of pigeonholing society.

People can be tall, skinny, or even blonde. Although such definitions are only intended to define certain particularities, however, the term “autistic” has been extended to define, classify and label people who have an Autism Spectrum Disorder.

It is, in short, a way to establish boundaries between the social group and people with autism. Although it may seem a vulgar question of the lexicon, finally the definition confuses and stigmatizes the person suffering from the syndrome mentioned above.

We must begin to demystify autism. In the world there are more than 1,000,000 people with autism and deserve all our respect and support, beginning by not looking at them as something outside the world or defining them as special beings.

We must start to demystify autism, starting by not looking at them over our shoulders or defining them as "special" beings.

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Good Night's Sleep: Guide for Parents!

Any underlying problem may be affecting sleep: from allergies, environmental intolerances, to the medications the child takes.

Most parents have difficulties with their children at bedtime. In children, the problems for sleeping are a common phase in their development. But, if these problems persist, they can have adverse effects on the child, the parents, and even other family members. Children with ASD seem to have these problems for sleeping more frequent and even more intense than neurotypical children. Bedtime can become a daily challenge for parents.

First of all, you should identify the reason for the child having trouble sleeping. Consider allergies or food intolerances, gastrointestinal problems, and seizures, or even the environment. All of these can occur in people with ASD. These problems may also be caused by medications and their side effects.

Environmental Variables

Maybe the environment where your child sleeps is being uncomfortable for him or her. You may need to make some adaptations, so the child can relax at bedtime.

• Temperature. Consider if the child is very hot or cold. Examine the temperature of the room, sleeping clothes or bed.

• Noise. Consider noises that may be affecting your child. In the process of sleeping, the sounds that your child hears can be impossible to ignore. Some children within the autism spectrum disorders may prefer dark places during the day, but that’s very different from sleeping in a large dark room at night. Street lights, the moon, or car lights that illuminate the room at intermittent intervals can affect your child's sleep.

Bedtime Routines

Establishing a bedtime routine is a good way to generate a positive pattern in the child's sleep. However, the children with ASD they are extremely critical.

If you set a fixed time to go to bed, your child will benefit from that. Choose a reasonable time for your child and you to begin to apply a routine sleep system.

A bedtime routine can help the child to calm down, relax and prepare to rest. This routine should include activities that are pleasurable and relaxing, as well as special and individualized that fit the needs and interests of your child. Read a story, go to the bathroom, put on the pajamas, brushing teeth, have a glass of water, sing a favorite song or pray, listen to relaxing music or participate in a relaxed sensory integration activity.

In children within an autism spectrum disorder, it’s very common to have problems with sleeping. These bad sleeping habits are easily created and difficult to change. It can take time to solve this problem, but the family must do their part, so these routines and these changes have good results. A priority that deserves effort!

Routines and bedtime rituals are essential for most children to establish positive patterns in sleep, but they are extremely critical for children within the autism spectrum disorder.

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Sensory Diet: Is It Important for the Child?

This will help the child with sensory difficulties to perform better in the environments in which they interact.

A sensory diet is not a diet, but an individualized program of activities or environmental modifications that help the child with sensory difficulties to perform better in the environments in which they interact: at home, at school, in the park, in the supermarket, thus allowing its finality and participation.

To understand better: a sensory diet is another tool in the child's treatment, composed of activities and environmental modifications to keep the nervous system organized and calm in the daily routines of the child.

Activities or modifications within sensory diets may include:

• Adequate alert level. Activities that help the child by introducing reassuring activities to help him if he’s very hyperactive or offering stimulating activities if the level of the alert is low.

• Stimuli. Supports so that the child learns to recognize his own level of alertness and is able to self-regulate. Visual strategies are a great strategy to use together with these.

• Sensory breaks. Times in which the child can rest or stop to self-regulate.

• Sensory shelter. Place where the child can go and calm down when he has received a lot of stimulation and showed signs of overload.

How to make a sensory diet?

The occupational therapist, the other professionals, and the family have to form a team to determine together the possible adaptations to be made. On the other hand, it’s not about filling the child's routine with activities, but about analyzing the child, its context and from there using the available tools to improve their autonomy. Registering the adaptations we make will be a good idea, as it will help us to verify its effectiveness. If after a few days we don’t see the expected results, we will decide if it’s necessary to change the strategy.

Why use a sensory diet?

Sensory diets aim to help the child to be in the best disposition to face the different routines of his day to day, to improve his attention, learning and to be self-regulated.

The sensory diet provides the child with opportunities to receive the sensory stimuli he needs in his daily basis.

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