Autism Soccer: How to Deal with Strangers When Raising Children with Special Needs

Always try to be a bigger person.

Once you’ve started to live your life with a child with special needs, many prejudices and misconceptions, that you possibly had, simply go away. You learn all there is to know about their condition, and you understand that there are things in life that are more important than simple “normalcy.” But not everyone is like you. Somehow, you’ll have to learn to live with the curious glances of strangers, as well as uncomfortable questions and remarks.

However, one thing that comes with raising a child with special needs is strength. You learn that while you’re not able to control every circumstance around you or have a say in what people do or talk, you do have the power to decide how you react to external factors in your life. This means that, somewhere along the way, you also understand how to deal the best with strangers or people who don’t know what your life is really like.

One of the things that you need to remember is that most of the time people don’t have bad intentions. Every case is different, of course, but they usually are just curious and want to ask or learn about the subject. Sure, they might make ignorant comments or treat you with pity, as if something extremely terrible had happened to you, but meetings like this could end up being a great opportunity to raise awareness and destroy some prejudices.

It’s not your job to educate people, and it’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it or put yourself under that pressure. Some parents find that explaining their child’s condition to strangers makes it easy for themselves to stop seeing it as something different or weird. It can also help kids get the feeling that it’s okay to talk about who they are and that they shouldn’t feel embarrassed for it.

You’re not under any obligation to share your kid’s medical diagnosis with anyone. People shouldn’t expect you to do it either, but there isn’t much one can do about that. It’s okay to say no or politely redirect the conversation somewhere else, and you’ll find it’s actually liberating to do what you feel like doing without caring for what strangers might think. Because that’s the thing: they’re strangers. They probably don’t want to know that much, and you most likely won’t be seeing them ever again.

You might get frustrated with society’s views on people who are different and sometimes you’ll feel fed up of everyone gawking or staring at your child as if he or she wasn’t an individual with feelings and thoughts of their own. It’s okay to feel like that, and it’s okay to vent. We’re still fighting for a more inclusive and accepting society, but sadly, many times our legislation is ahead of our own culture. No one has the power to determine your own happiness and peace of mind though. At the end of the day, you’ll have a beautiful presence by your side that’s ready to love, be loved and from which you can get all the positive energy you need to carry on.